I just recently had a parent/teacher conference
with my son’s teacher. He’s in
kindergarten, so this is my first rodeo dealing with public schools as a
parent. This was our 3rd conference
this school year. After the first two
conferences, I walked away frustrated each time. I felt like the teacher simply gave me
generic information about my child.
Nothing that she said to me helped me to truly understand his progress
or lack thereof. I felt like she wasn’t
really listening to what I needed her to hear in regards to the needs of my
child and therefore, I felt as if my child was not getting what he needed.
There was a breakdown somewhere and I just couldn’t get past that. The teacher was very prepared to provide
evidence of my child’s work but couldn’t tell me anything about goals,
potential, or what to expect in the future.
Again, simply telling me how he’s performed thus far only minimally
helps me to direct his education and my support of it in the future.
Yesterday,
while beginning a tutoring session with a client, the parent mentioned to me
that she has a parent/teacher conference coming up for her children. She asked me what she should ask the
teacher. I thought for a second and was
ready with an immediate response. I told
her to ask very specific questions that require detailed responses from the
teacher. I mentioned to her that I had
prepared several questions ahead of time to ask the teacher before the conference. I had also sent an email to request the conference and it
stated specifically what I wanted to discuss in regards to my son’s performance
in class. I told her that if she wanted
to avoid the generic responses of “your child’s doing great” or “they’re just
not getting it” then she has to ask the right questions.
Let’s
redirect back to the most recent conference I had with my son’s teacher. Because I sent the email prior to our meeting
to discuss the things that were important for me to understand in helping my
child, the teacher was able to be prepared to focus specifically on those
things. It kept us on track during the
entire meeting. I didn’t walk away
frustrated either because I was satisfied with the information she gave
me. I was equipped to be able to help my
son in the future because I asked specific questions. I have provided a list of questions to ask
the teacher during the conference to gain clarification of your child’s
performance (other than a grade/score).
Feel free to edit/modify the questions per teacher or subject. Read this article to find out
how to craft the best email prior to a conference.
11 Best Questions to ask a
teacher during a parent/teacher conference:
1. What is a day in your class like?
Beginning with this type of question relaxes the tension (if
any) and gives you a glimpse inside of a normal day that your child
experiences. Let’s face it, they don’t
tell us everything and they may exaggerate things a little in terms of what
goes on (or doesn’t) in class.
2. Is my child reading (doing his work) in class and/or
participating daily?
This question is important because it gives you a glimpse
into how your child functions in class everyday. It has the opportunity to shed some light on
why their skills may or may not be improving or why they are/aren’t
understanding the material without having to point the finger at any one
person.
3. Does my child ask questions in class? How often?
You need to know about your child’s interactions with the
teacher during instructional time. If
they consistently aren’t understanding the material, it is important that you
encourage them to ask questions (if they aren’t already).
4. How often do you assign homework? Approximately how much time
should the average student spend on your homework assignments? What is the
level of difficulty in completing those assignments? Are the assignments graded
and does my child receive feedback? How is my child performing on these
assignments? What percent of his/her grade is directly related to homework?
Homework may be for enrichment, remediation, extension, or
practice. If you notice that your child either does not have any homework or
has a lot, these questions help you to gauge the importance placed on homework.
Once you know the value of homework in each teacher’s class, you can
effectively guide your child during that time.
These questions also help to explain your child’s overall
grade.
5. What is my child’s potential?
What do you feel he/she is capable of?
Understanding your child’s potential is pertinent for you and
the teacher in order to understand the needs of your child and how to motivate
them. If they give them work that is too
easy, they risk boring them and your child eventually losing interest in
school. If they give them work that is
too challenging, they risk becoming unmotivated to try because they feel they
can’t get anything right.
Asking specifically about what your child is capable of is
crucial to help you push them and motivate them at home. The answer to this question lets you know
exactly what they can do.
6. Is my child capable of doing more than what he/she is
currently doing?
A question like this one gauges how well the teacher knows
your child. It helps to determine
whether or not your child is getting the attention needed from the
teacher. If the teacher is unable to
determine your child’s capabilities then it will be difficult for them to provide
work at a level that is best for your child to succeed.
You can use the answer to this question for leverage at home
when you discuss their performance in school.
Again, this helps you to push and motivate your child.
7. What specific concepts does my child need to improve upon and
what concepts has he/she mastered?
The key phrase in this question is “specific concepts.” Be
sure that the teacher doesn’t generalize in answering this question.
For example, telling you that your child needs help with
reading comprehension is very general and broad as an explanation. The teacher should be able to mention types
of reading genres or specific types of reading comprehension questions that
your child has problems understanding and recalling. He/she may very well
understand and comprehend fiction or poetry but doesn’t comprehend non-fiction
works very much. Your child may
understand cause and effect but not inference type questions.
Another example of a broad answer is saying that your child
needs help with fractions. Your question
should then be, “do you mean multiplying, dividing, adding, subtracting, or all
of the above? Does he/she need help understanding like or unlike denominators
or both?”
8. What goals have you set for my child specifically in… (list
each subject)? What steps are necessary to accomplish these goals?
Setting goals is important to monitor progress. Remember that goals should be measured and
have a time frame for completion. Don’t
let the teacher simply say, “by the end of the school year.” That’s a very
generic answer. Also, don’t let them simply refer to the “standards” as a
specific goal. That too is a very
generic answer.
A good example of a goal is: I want him/her to increase to
Reading Level G within the next month. Another good example: He/she should know
all of their multiplication facts through 8 within 6-8 weeks.
It is pertinent to know more than just the goals. Knowing how to accomplish those goals says
that there is a plan and this is how we’re going to implement it. It allows
you, as the parent, the opportunity to participate in helping your child to
reach those goals because you understand the road to take to get there.
9. Will you revise those goals if/when they are reached? How
will you communicate those changes to me when the time comes?
These questions ensure that there will be continuous
monitoring towards your child’s progress. Not only does it let the teacher know
that you plan to be involved every step of the way but it lets them know that
you plan to hold them accountable to communicating your child’s progress with
you.
This is an opportunity to set up an acceptable form of
communication whether it’s email, note home, or phone call. It may be wise to
set up a communication schedule with the teacher as well (i.e. every 2-3 week
check-up).
10. Do you offer tutoring before or after school? If so, what
day(s) of the week and what time(s)? If not, are there any other teachers that
you could recommend who offer tutoring before or after school?
Avoid asking whether or not your child needs tutoring. I
suggest allowing them to go whether they need to or not. It’s beneficial for the teacher to see them
putting forth the extra effort in the long run. It’s also beneficial for your
child to learn how going beyond what they are currently working on to get ahead
is important.
Some teachers may discourage tutoring if they feel the child is
on target or will be on target soon. Always err on the side of caution. Remember, it’s better to be safe, than sorry.
A little extra knowledge and preparation never hurt anyone!
11. How can my child improve in your class? In addition to
homework, what should my child be doing to stay prepared for your class?
This is a great set of questions to close out the meeting. It let’s the teacher know that you are 100%
on board to making sure that your child does his/her absolute best in your
class. It also gives you the final information needed to assist your child at
home and in school.
Notice
that these questions shift far away from an extremely negative, emotional, and
intense conversation about your child.
The focus stays strictly on student, teacher, and parent performance and
accountability. The questions remove the
notion of finger-pointing and blaming and concentrate on sharing the
responsibilities of educating your child.
This helps for a better relationship for all parties involved.
Are there questions that
you’ve asked your child’s teacher that you think should be on this list?
